So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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