3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
