My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
please don't ironically join a cult
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