I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
