Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
