She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
