I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
