They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
