it's like iHOP with fire
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
