spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
did i walk over a car last night?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize