i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
