You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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