Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
