I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
