Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
