wakey wakey hands off snakey
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
