I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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