i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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