Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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