PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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