Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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