Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize