question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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