sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
