"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
