dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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