you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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