Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
nutella sex= disaster
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Will exercising make me less horny?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
