Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
