he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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