Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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