i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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