Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
