I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
oh god was she eating orange peels again
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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