I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
