There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
two words: eviction party
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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