Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
