Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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