I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
