I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
