I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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