I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
