Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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