Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
