it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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