...so i touched it.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
