i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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