butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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