Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
