Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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