I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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