mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
