don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
