let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
