He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
