The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
