I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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