your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize