guys are not supposed to queef...right?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
