See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
