Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize