It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize